Another year is coming to a end! 🎉 I’ve created some awesome travel memories this year, but I’ve already told you about those. Let me tell you about those other travel memories, the ones I wish didn’t happen. Now keep in mind these are my memories, which means there’re probably some worse ones I’ve forgotten about. Cos my mind…. 😂
So, without further adieu, here are my 5 worst travel memories of 2019. I’m not kidding. Look at my face above? Does that look like the face of a lady having a good time? I think not. FYI- this is a pic I don’t even remember taking of myself in Venice. Continue reading for the story behind that sour puss expression.
Getting pooped on at the Vatican 🦅 (i.e. shitty travel memories)
I took care to ensure I was cute & comfy, yet appropriately dressed– VC does not play about its dress code. So here I am, in all my melanin glory, with my cute new white shirt and freshly washed Locs. After my tour, I visit this lovely little gift shop right outside St. Peter’s Square. Here I am, minding my own business, sitting outside enjoying the last rays of sunshine, penning postcards to my kids. (I wanted them to have a Vatican City post stamp–I’m nerdy like that). Then out of the blue, quite literally, I feel a soft splat hit the top of my head.
Me: 😳 ~does a slo-mo look up at the 50-thousand seagulls flying in & around St. Peter’s Square~
Then, I feel it on my scalp. Then the faint, yet rising, smell wafts into my nostrils. 🤢. Going against all my certified germaphobe primal instincts, I politely put the half written postcard back in my bag, walked back into the store & found the bathroom, and then took out my wipes (I NEVER travel without them: see my Top 5 carry on essentials here), and proceeded to calmly clean the offending bird poo out of my freshly coiffed hairdo. I got a few looks, but none of them were particularly strange, sympathetic, or humorous. Clearly, poo raining down from the sky is not a rare occurrence.
I spend a good 15 minutes contorting into all sorts of Cirque du Soleil-esque positions cleaning up. Then, I calmly walked my antibacterial, lavender scented self right back outside & sat back down. I looked up at the sky and gave it the biggest smile I could. What’s a little bird poo when I was currently sitting outside St. Peter’s Basilica enjoying the last of the sun before the rain rolls in? I finished up my postcards in peace and continued on about my day.
With a smile.
I looked up the likelihood of getting shat upon by a bird once I got home. Come to find out, it’s a rare occurrence. It’s even considered good luck in some cultures to have a bird poop on you. So, take that Vatican seagull!!! But let me tell you, it’s not a travel memory I need to repeat.
Nearly getting jacked on the Link Light Rail leaving SeaTac 😳 (i.e. scary travel memories)
“No,” I said. “We’ll take the train,” I said. “It’ll be fun,” I said.
I got a look, but this is not my first rodeo on the Light Link. It was perfectly safe and we’d be aight. (famous last words) So we hop on the Link Light Rail so Other Bestie could scoop us up in the city.
Now, me and the BFF hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months, so we had some catching up to do. We easily had a 20-25 minute ride ahead of us, so we settled in a relatively empty car and got to gabbing. And since we were in the city for 4.5 days, neither one of us packed light. This meant no sleek, cute weekenders for us! Oh no, we both brought our Big Girl suitcases, which were too big to fit directly in the seats with us. But I’m resourceful, so we managed to finagle one halfway between my legs and the little wall in front of our seats, and then placed the other one the other side of wall & I loosely held on to it.
So, we’re gabbing away like we haven’t talked in 5 years when this shady looking dude gets on at one of the stops. He glances around the train & chooses to stand by the door. Okay, cool. To each his/her own.
After another 2 stops, he comes over & stands right by the door in front of us, vs. sitting in one of the SEVERAL open seats in the car. Now, I’m not judging dude, but I do listen to my instincts & it’s my custom to maintain a higher level of awareness when I’m looking like a big ole tourist. The gab fest continues & I notice Shady Dude (another 2 stops later) keeps looking our way, then he starts inching closer & closer to the bag we had in front of the wall. Me, without even being obvious I was watching him, kept right on talking & laughing, then slid the bag right on into the open seat space behind us.
Shady Dude was not expecting that. A look crossed his face and he raised his eyes to me. I held his gaze for 5 seconds (which looking back, I probably should not have), and then fell back into my conversation. He got off at the next stop I breathed a sigh of relief, telling BFF, “I think that dude was gonna try to snag this bag & jump off the train at the next stop.” Again, I’m not saying that was his plan, but I was growing increasingly uneasy at his shifty glances and continual moves closer to us. And when he “bumped” the bag as the train was slowing down for the next stop, something told me to just move the bag and I listened. If nothing else, it increased my sense of well being and lowered my stress levels.
Getting UTTERLY lost in the City of Canals 🤪 (i.e. panicked travel memories)
I did WEEKS of prep on exactly how I was going to spend my day in Venice. I put together this comprehensive walking tour of the city, complete with shops & bars to visit, landmarks to see, and super detailed navigating instructions. And I mean DETAILED (I’ll share it with you whenever I get the nerve to fully talk about this trip). Look, I was READY.
Strike #1– it was cold, cloudy, & ominous when I started out. To paraphrase the great Purple One, I guess I should have known by way the sky was dark & cloudy, that it was doomed. I don’t generally believe the weather to be a predictor of how a day will go, but I may reconsider after this trip.
Strike #2– No WIFI. At all.
I had no GPS or Google Maps. And with the language barrier & people being generally unhelpful and friendly this particular morning, I couldn’t find starting point for my walking tour. So I just started walking, following the directions SPRAY PAINTED ON THE BUILDINGS to St. Mark’s Square 😳. Hey, I got to St. Mark’s square, saw the stuff I wanted to see, visited the shops I wanted to, & then set out on my tour since I finally knew where I was. It’s all good, right?
Wrong. Without GPS, it was a lost cause.
Strike #3– Who knew (and didn’t tell me) that all the streets in Venice look the same? Who knew (and didn’t tell me) that there are NO STREET SIGNS! At least, I didn’t see one. And who knew (and didn’t see fit to tell moi) that there are no directions spray painted on the walls directing you from St. Mark’s Square BACK to the train station???
It took me 30 mins to get the square, but nearly 2 hours to find my way back to the train station.
2. Hours.
I must have taken that same right turn at Albuquerque Bugs Bunny took, cos your girl was wandering around lost in the cold & and no one who spoke enough English to get me back to the train station. I was legit scoping out alleys to sleep in that night.
OMG, Venice has GOT to be my biggest travel failure to date. One day I’ll tell you about it, but just know spending hours lost in another country without being able to help yourself with your first, second, or third back up plans was beyond stressful. So much so that after I got back to the train station, I cut my visit 5 hours short & headed to Rome.
The Memphis heat while trying to be cute at Diner en Blanc🔥(i.e. hot travel memories)
But let me tell you, Memphis, TN in August is NOT for the feint of heart. Now, I started out looking super cute; your girl was well put together. I had my hair just so, a bad outfit, and my make up was on point like it was Misty Copeland.
Once we arrived at our destination, it was a bit of organized chaos as we located our section, got our table and chairs, and set our table. By the time we’d gotten all this done, the Memphis heat & humidity had just settled inself in for the night as well; tucking itself around us all like a well loved blanket.
MAN, let me tell you, folks were definitely dripping, & not the sauce! Sweat fell from every available pore and napkins were at a premium because everyone was mopping their brows furiously and continuously. And even though I had to foresight to bring a portable fan, I still felt like my face was sliding in a good imitation of one of Salvadore Dali’s clocks.
Whew, child. But it was fun!
Blowing my transportation budget 1.5 days into a 4 day trip 🚕 (i.e. real world travel memories)
Yes, one of the keys in me affording travel is planning to, and sticking with, a budget. And I like to have my budget secured (i.e. already saved and set aside) at least a full month before I leave. I practice sustainable travel. There’s nothing worse than coming home from a trip and not being able to eat, pay bills, or put gas in your car for 2 weeks because you didn’t proper allocate your finances.
I’m in Italy and ready to go. However, there were a few things I didn’t account for:
- The rising train ticket prices when you purchase the day of vs in advance.
- Several days & nights of rain, rendering walking nearly impossible, which meant I took 3 times as many cabs as I’d budgeted for.
- Not realizing one of my bases of operations was much further from the city center than expected. This meant a minimum $20 ride every single time I left and returned to my hotel. Every. Single. Time.
So, I quickly blew through my transportation budget before I’d even explored my second stop on my whirlwind Italian excursion.😔 I made adjustments to my food, entertainment, and souvenir budgets to help cover the deficient. But even with this, I left Italy about $200 in the hole due to higher than expected transport costs.
Lesson here: be sure to have a contingency plan if you encounter unforeseen challenges. One of the main benefits of having a travel agenda is flexibility if the need to make changes arise. So even if I decide to not visit a few spots in order save money, I have already identified several back up activities to do instead.
And there you have it, my 5 worst travel moments of this year. If you’re done laughing at me and want to revisit some of my better experiences of 2019, check them out here:
- My NYE trip to Seattle
- Visiting the Crown Winery Vineyard in my own backyard
- My whirlwind trip through Italy
- Diner en Blanc Memphis 2019es
Travel Memories
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